UCB Progressive Game Blog – 8th Inning

For the 6th consecutive year, the United Cardinal Bloggers are doing a progressive blog. While talented, respectable writers will cover other innings, I have the honor of oppressively describing the 8th inning action in painstaking detail.  For the 7th inning, check out Fungoes if only because it’s a lot of fun to say “Fungoes”.  For the 9th inning, click here to go to Cards Tied For First Because A Long Blog Name Is a Great Idea.

To make this really difficult to read, I’m going to author this using the WordPress app on my iPhone. It’s not because I love smartphone technology; I’m just really comfortable on the couch.

Thank goodness Daniel Descalso hit a 2-run blast in the 7th inning, because this recap was going to consist of a really bad dirge (song of lamenting) played on a vuvuzela.

1. Badenhop in to face Matt Holliday. Seth Maness is warming in the bullpen. While the actual game is being played, Justin Kutcher and Eric Karros are babbling about pitching specialization. Holliday strikes out on a slider which is odd, because that has NEVER happened before.

2. Allen Craig moves to the box, and the camera pans to Ty Wigginton who appeared to be counting butterflies.15 minutes later Craig goes down looking on a “strike” several inches off the plate. Umpiring is hard.

3. Yadier Molina brings a wooden implement to the plate with Jermaine Curtis on deck. After working the count full, Molina fouls off a couple of pitches before striking out on yet another pitch that was not inside the strike zone as defined by MLB.

Games moves to the bottom of the 8th with the visiting team having more points scored than the home team.

1. Fernando Salas enters the game to throw baseballs at relatively high velocities. He earns the honor of facing Martin Maldonado who excels at not putting baseballs in play. Also, Matt Carpenter looks pretty good at 3B,.

2. Alex Gonzalez thwacks the first pitch thrown in close proximity to his body into left field for a baseball “hit”.

3. Sadly, some guy named “Schafer” just hit the ball to a location unoccupied by a defender.

4. Randy Choate on to pitch with runners at the corners and 1 out. Oddly enough, the base paths are not rounded at all. Technically, the infield is often referred to as a “diamond” which implies it is angular. Since it is a square composed of 90′ line segments and thus 90 degree interior angles, it seems that a runner on any base may be said to be “at the corner”.

5. Norichika Aoki just allowed a throw baseball to hit his almost stationary bat. Almost simultaneously the runner on 3rd base accelerated from a stop to an expedited trot in the direction of home plate. Yadier Molina made a rather game effort to prevent the run from scoring, but he was unable to make his arm suddenly grow 2 feet.

6. Seth Maness, model of efficiency, just induced a double play after throwing a grand total of 2 pitches from a raised dirt hill.

The game now moves to the 9th inning with the score tied at 6 apiece,

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About gr33nazn

Opinionated, literate, pragmatic, and unabashed about sharing my views on a variety of subjects.
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2 Responses to UCB Progressive Game Blog – 8th Inning

  1. Pingback: 2013 Progressive Game Blog: Pre-Game — United Cardinal Bloggers

  2. Pingback: Fungoes

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